breathe out

 i lose my breath

when

golden afternoon strikes the black and white tiles, 

the stripes curving and dancing before my eyes

ocean air winds its way through the city, 

the flag billowing, red and white dancing together

i step down an empty alley, 

the bustle of the city suddenly cut off by brick walls and narrow streets

my bus screams down the pan-american highway, passing the roundabout 

where there is always

a game of volleyball

someone napping 

a family picnicking 

the shade of a tall cactus

a lost dog

a loose kite

i am filled with love

when

the shouts

and laughter of 

my students 

fill the street

when 

a pattering of feet and 

a soft voice

wake me from my nap beneath the open window

even when

a soccer ball comes crashing 

against our house, 

glass flying, 

faces of terrified neighbors peering out from a nearby alley


i am sad

when

the heat of summer 

means the start of a farewell

when

the months turn to weeks, 

the weeks turn to days,

and the day will come that I board a plane, 

homeward bound 

when

the idea of home 

is more abstract than before

when 

i dream of adventure

and dream of home

and in my dreaming, discover I have been in Tacna all along 

i am at peace

when

i sit by my adopted tíos y tías

mis primos y primas

mi hermano y mi hermana 

mi mamá y mi papá 

who

i did not know two years ago 

who 

have loved me all this time

who ask me:

when will you return?

i do not know

yesterday an old vecina asked me: how long will you be staying for? 

and it felt

as if my journey had only just begun


Originally published at www.jvcwithcamila.blogspot.com

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